Here I Am Now What?

Ok, this is my first attempt at blogging, so here we go!

    "Here I am what now?"  This question to me is pretty much the question that I ask myself every time I enter into a new situation with people that I do not know.  Ask anyone that has known me for a long time becuase they can tell you, once you get to know me you cannot get me to be quiet.  However, a campus full of strange people, new experiences, and the unknown, add all this together and for the first couple of days I  did not even know what kind of reality that I was in!  The fact that I was actually going to college did not hit me until the first morning before my political science class.  The prompt question is the exact thought that was going through my head throughout that entire first day.  Though I was nervous and unsure about what was happening now, I managed to take it one day at a time.

     Starting college in itself was something major, but it caused me to start seriously thinking and looking into what I wished to actually do with my future.  Suddenly, we where here at college, and we had all the choices in the world laid out before us.  When I thought about what now, I thought that really anything could be now.  One  could change for the better or for the worse, or they could remain exactly as they were before.  Personally, for me, I am choosing to be a more outgoing person.  I was always the quiet one in the corner until my senior year of high school, and there is nothing that will make me want to return to that place.  Spending time with the people that I have met and becoming friends with them over the past few weeks has been some of the best times that I have had in a long while.

     The last, and perhaps the most important, thing that came to my mind when I thought of the "what now?" part of the question was the oppurtunity that I have in Leadership Fellows.  This is a chance that I have never had before in my life.  I came from a small private school, and if you were a girl, than you were lucky that they could  not change your grades to make the boys of the class to look like better students.  Even when the teachers looked for a leader in my school, a guy would be chosen.  No matter who had the most merit or potential, gender was the deciding factor.  Here at Macon, I have not felt that way at all.  Things are given because they are earned, and not because of a gender preference.

     Realizing this, I really do have to ask myself "what now?" because I have never had this oppurtunity before.  It feels as if anything is possible, and I want to make the most of it.  So when someone asks, "Here I am what now?", I am going to respond with I have the chance to lead a make a difference, so I will.